While talking to a good friend and counselor recently, she was saying that my Third Eye was more open than she has ever seen it. Given that she had known me for over ten years, and has seen me through all kinds of situations, she would know. She attributed it to the awakening that is going on inside of me that is happening as I heal my body and heal my soul from events in the last year. A lot of those occurrences were pretty painful, and rocked me to my core, but I am still standing, and feel that I’m the better for it.
A lot of those events were coming on for a long time; I just didn’t want to see them. They were situations that weren’t serving me well, and were well past the gentle tugs on my shirt sleeves of the Universe saying, “Nance, this isn’t working for you!” So, instead of bailing on my own terms long before I was the one who got “left”, I held on, put on my blinders to cover my eyes even knowing the situation wasn’t right, but kept hoping it would get better. As a result of not having a little disappointment if I had put a stop to events soon after they began, I went through quite a bit of emotional pain because by the end, I had quite a lot of me invested in the situations and their outcomes.
Then, since I wasn’t paying attention to the rather strong messages from the Universe, my body decided the volume needed to be turned up, and I got very sick physically. Again, even though I knew better, I wasn’t ready to surrender to the Divine my illusion of control and kept trying to wade through the “I can handle this; I don’t need any help!” protests that my body was putting out. Only when I was ready to really let myself hit bottom as I wrote about in a previous posting, “Trust in me” was there any real relief from the pain I was in.
Part of the problem was that I really wasn’t asking for help. I was trying to hide how bad off I really was and while there were many who would have helped, I was too embarrassed to ask. It’s a shame that we aren’t more gentle with ourselves as we would be with others. I’m already turning the corner after an awful year and am looking forward with hope to the upcoming one. Perhaps if we wore signs around our necks about what was going on inside, we wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of asking for help. Here’s a beautiful story by Melody Ross, “We Must see Past What it Seems“. Her plight went on much longer than mine, and I’m sorry to hear all that she went through, but it did affirm for me that I’m not the only one with blinders that needed to come off. It sounds as if she did a much better job of facing her reality than I did, and her story inspires me to do a better job of seeing more clearly in the future.
May we all be gentle with each other. Who might you help who is hiding quietly, too embarrassed to ask for help?
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