“Taking back my body, taking back my power” is my new mantra. I began this posting while sitting at my keyboard at midnight, unable to sleep. Little did I think that I would be writing anything like this, much less being excited and most importantly, believe it my new revelations any time soon. Two days earlier, I was diagnosed with viral encephalitis. To add to the mix, I also had bacteria in my blood stream that were meant to be in my gut, so somewhere I was leaking buckets of harmful stuff only to be circulated into the rest of my system. For those of you who have been reading this blog, you know that I also am recovering from chronic Lyme and tick malaria. So why was I so happy as I was sitting at my keyboard?
Only a few hours before I had had to stop at a hotel four hours from home as I drove back from where I had the testing done. I was just too tired and hurt too much to make the trip that normally I would have been able to do in one day. I settled in and then got on the computer as I needed to let people know about the new diagnosis, as it’s can be quite contagious. I also wanted to ask my social media network of friends for healing Light and Love.
A Facebook friend quickly saw the post and got on line to lecture me about what I should be eating. It was as if I didn’t know already. A few postings were exchanged, and I felt downtrodden, as if here was one more thing that I wasn’t doing right. His advice was very sound, but given that there were many days since I had gotten sick six months before with the Lyme and tick malaria, that I could barely pick my head up off of the pillow. I had been getting by with food that would keep in the fridge and on the shelf.
Then to add to the sense of betrayal, I called up an old boyfriend who is also an amazing healer. It took quite a bit of courage to do so, as he has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want contact as he doesn’t return calls that I had left on his voice mail. He had said, however, that I could call if I needed him, so I picked up the phone and made the call. He had just gotten home, so he asked to call me back. I had to admit that I didn’t know how to receive calls on my new phone, as I could only send calls. (another embarrassment) He then asked me to call him back in five minutes. I waited ten, and called twice but he didn’t answer. I went to bed crying and feeling totally abandoned and alone.
After about two hours of trying to surrender to whatever I needed to let go of, as I was afraid that I would be dying soon if something didn’t change, I got the big AHA! In my shamanic training we learned that when you point a finger at somebody else for doing something, there are three fingers pointing back at you for some part of the same issue that’s bothering you. I had not only given up my power to these two men, (and many others in the past), and let them keep abandoning me, but I was doing the same thing to myself and allowing the bacteria and parasites to proliferate in my body. In effect, I had allowed an open season on myself and the onslaught was going full force!
I got very excited about writing down my discovery, and got up to start the first draft on my laptop of this posting, only to notice that the power light to the computer was glowing on and off very, very slowly. It appeared similar to the dimming tail on a lightning bug I used to collect them as a kid. I would unfortunately keep them too long in the jar and they would die. (I can still smell them in that jar.) I discovered that I had not plugged in the power plug, which I always do, so there was no getting on the computer right then. (Remember that there are no coincidences in the Universe!) It’s pitifully, barely pulsing light, was a great metaphor for what was happening in my body, as I was quickly going further and further downhill with my health. My take was that the Divine was not going to let me distract myself by getting on the computer until more healing work was done. I sat there saying ”Taking back my body, taking back my power“ over and over, and as I did, the light on my computer got brighter and brighter, giving me a visual confirmation that I was on the right track.
Finally, the light was back on strong on my computer. While I knew that I wasn’t finished with all of the alternative healing work that needed to be done, I got that it was OK to at least take some notes so I wouldn’t forget what had happened. As I wrote the first draft of this blog that night, I started to feel the headache and neck pain coming back that is characteristic of viral encephalitis. I decided I needed some more healing so I went back to bed to do some more work and get some sleep. Earlier in the day I had been listening to an interview with Sheila Brown when she was being interviewed by Linda Claire Puig. Ms. Brown talked about her situations, sort of a riches to rags to riches story. She talked about how when she changed her attitude and belief in herself, her business changed radically. I feel that as I complete this first draft of this posting that I, too, have turned a corner in my relationship with myself, and that my health and also my work will improve soon in the future. Only time will tell if this is so.
NOTE: The next morning, the first guy posted on my Facebook timeline a poster about healthy eating. I read it, smiled, and deleted it, which is something I would never had done in the past. I smiled and thanked him energetically, how unconsciously on his part, he ahd poked me the day before and stirred me onwards.
The second guy did call back half an hour later, and left a message on my voice mail at home. I didn’t get that message until the next day. If I had talked to him, I would have gotten the benefit of immediate relief from the pain, but wouldn’t have learned this valuable lesson. I sent him an email about my discovery, thanking him for what I know that he knows how he helped me. It’s been almost two weeks, and I haven’t heard back from him yet.
The Universe does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?
What big discoveries have you made regarding your interactions with others? Were you able to use your new found thoughts to your advantage?
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You can find out more about my healing work in the other information on this site, about my artwork on my web site at www.fiberfantasies.com (be patient as it loads; it’s worth it), and can find me on Google + , Facebook (for Transition Portals), Facebook (for Fiber Fantasies), and Twitter.