A friend of mine from high school and early college has come back into my life. We dated back then and then life took a turn on my part and we went our separate ways. Having reconnected around the death of my mother, he’s been a tremendous support around helping me through the grief, and now the Lyme disease and Babesiosis (tick malaria). He constantly claims that he’s “just” a simple man and yet he’ll come up with the most brilliant statements. One of them is the topic for today’s posting… going through life one decision at a time.
He keeps saying to me that “It’s real simple, Nance! You just make one decision at a time.” I, however, who can keep 37 thoughts running in my head at once, while doing five or six things at a time, find this one decision at a time thing hard to do. I want reassurances, I want to understand, I want to know the outcome… I want, I want, I want! Sounds rather whiny, doesn’t it? Yet for a large part of my life, I’ve longed for answers to cover up my fears.
I get that I’ve lived most of my life afraid of one thing or another, especially abandonment. I now feel that those fears kept me from living a life wide open and that I’ve missed a lot of joy along the way. Instead of living in the moment, I was always looking over my shoulder, to see what might take things away from me. Pretty sad, but that was life for me.
Part of the purpose of writing this particular posting is that if I make it public that I’m going to live making one decision at a time, then there are all of you “making me accountable”. In reality, only I can “make” myself do anything, but I’ve found that if I say to others I’m going to do something, I’m much more likely to do it. I guess I haven’t outgrown that “good little girl” aspect of myself in that I do really, really try to keep my promises to others. Now, I just need to practice keeping promises to myself.
As for my friend, I’m really glad that he’s back in my life, even though we often have quite opposite views on the world. I know that I’ve pulled him back into my life at this time to teach me lessons. I’m certainly learning a lot. I also give him license to describe himself as he chooses, so “simple” he can proclaim to be. However, my take is that he’s as simple as the fools of medieval royal courts. who acted dumb, but were the ones who actually knew everything that was going on in much greater depth than those around them.
What method(s) do you use to make your decisions? How well does that way of choosing serve you? Is there anything that you’d like to change about it?
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