“There’s always a bright side to everything.” “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.” The English language is full of perky little phrases designed to roll you out of the doldrums when Life throws its slings. For myself, I find many of these euphemisms to be sticky sweet and nauseating, yet holistic healing has as one of its major tenets that the whole picture should be considered. “But, but, ..you don’t understand!”, I’ve been known to wail. However, in the healing work that I’ve been shown, there really is a bright side, on the flip side, to at least the situations that I’ve been up against in Life However, at the time, many of them felt and looked more like the illustration in my last posting.
It’s been almost a month since my last posting, as I learn to deal with the sometimes debilitating symptoms of Chronic Lyme’s Disease. The term means that while the bacteria have been cleaned out of my blood, they’re hiding out in my brain and spinal cord. Some days, I do have very few symptoms, and life approaches being like it used to be as in the sunny illustration that I made above for this posting. However, some days I can’t lift my head from the pillow, as vertigo is a new symptom that I’m learning to deal with. (It’s pretty unusual to only run into the right hand walls as I try and walk down the hall.)Some days I get lots of things done, while others, I’m sleeping 14-16 hours/day. I think you get the picture.
So what’s good about any of that? I know that I don’t have the final answer yet, as the tests and possible treatments haven’t been gone through yet except for taking massive IV doses of antibiotics that burned my veins. One good thing however is that I’m really learning who my friends are. Another is learning to prioritize each day with what’s really important, and how much of what I had been doing, while fun, was fluff. I’m also learning to value myself, and treat myself better, both physically as I have no choice now that I have to eat better, and spiritually, as facing fears that I had been shoving under the carpet. My male cat also keeps me on track with regard to working on my spiritual issues and facing my fears. If I miss a day of seriously working on whatever is up for me, he pees on the floor beside the litter box. If I do the spiritual work I need to, he doesn’t. At least now, as I’m put down pet training pads, he’ll use those if I didn’t spend enough time the night before working on “my stuff”. I’m also going through peeling away a LOT of layers of my “playing the victim” role that I know all too well, having used it much of my life.
I don’t know yet how this current “dark night of the soul” will play out. A few weeks ago, I didn’t see much point in living. I’ve moved past that part by facing it.. “OK, you don’t have anything to live for”, thought about the consequences, “No, wait a minute, I have a lot to give the world yet”, and moved along my path. I do know that in the past, when I have come up against similar scenarios, there was always a reason for going through the dark times, although I might not figure it out until months later. Right now, I move along each day trusting that I’ll get an answer as to what is going on, or not, and being OK with either outcome. Surrendering that need to know “why” is really hard for me sometimes, but when I do, healing moves along so much faster!
How about you? How have you handled your traumatic times and gotten past them? Please share your suggestions, as I feel we can always learn from the experiences of others.
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You can find out more about my healing work in the other information on this site, about my artwork on my web site at www.fiberfantasies.com (be patient as it loads; it’s worth it), and can find me on Google + , Facebook (for Transition Portals), Facebook (for Fiber Fantasies), and Twitter.