If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, then you know that one of the things that I’ve come here to learn this lifetime is how to go thorough life with chronic pain. As I’ve been on this holistic or alternative healing path since 2004, I’ve overcome quite a lot, but that wasn’t always true for me. I’ve spent years going through various surgeries and regimens of pain pills, and came very close to becoming severely dependent on them. That’s not the case, now, but I want to tell you about one of my big a-has first.
I’m a visual artist, so it would make sense that most of the intuitive information that I would be shown is of images. I was also a public school science teacher for 27 years, so often I get shown various scientific concepts that I probably wouldn’t experience if it weren’t for that background. Pretty early on in this spiritual path, in a vision, I was shown two sine waves for pain and pleasure similar to my simple diagram above. What I noticed was how very much alike the profiles were. If they were slid on top of each other, there would be very little difference between the outlines of each other. What I took that to mean was that I was “choosing” pain over Divine Joy, Rapture, Pleasure (pick a word), because the latter was too scary to allow myself to experience.
Well, that didn’t make sense, but again, those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know that I ascribe to triune brain theory. Our reptilian brains are all about survival, and somewhere along the way, my little Body Brain got the idea that pain was preferable. It certainly wasn’t a conscious choice on my part, because if you has asked me, “Nance, do you want to get rid of this pain?”, I would have looked at you as if you were crazy. “Of course, I want to!” I would have loudly exclaimed, yet hidden deep in my unconscious mind where I didn’t have access to at the time, I had put the brakes on to letting go of the pain. Even though the pain was so debilitating at times, at least it was familiar and a script that I knew how to play.
There’s also the metaphysical structures that I see that I call “feedback loops”. In my cosmology, they exist right before the opening of the Fallopian tube out into the uterus. The fertilized egg that passes through them gets set up for repetitive patterns of behavior later in life such as OCD, over eating, or in my case, chronic pain. Using the techniques that I’ve been shown, I’m able to go back and release that stuck energy in these feedback loops for my clients and teach them processes that they can use to alleviate their own issues.
Are these feedback loops real in the way that I see them. Probably not, in that I imagine that most of what I’m being shown is metaphor. (I’ve talked before about how you don’t explain nuclear physics to a kindergartner the same way you would a graduate student, and some days. I’m barely out of nursery school when it comes to this spiritual path.) However, by treating these feedback loops as if they are real, doing what I’m shown to do, my clients and myself do experience real relief from issues, and that’s all I care about.
I’ve been shown other ways of looking at pain vs pleasure. Sometimes, they appear as a two sided coin, so the coin is one and the same, it just has two sides. Another way I’ve been shown this concept is as one of those old-fashioned, rubbery coin purses, where you pushed on the sides, and a slit would open up from which to extract the coins. In that metaphor, the coin purse kept turning inside out and then reversing itself. For me, again my take from these visions is that much of life, both what would usually be considered positive and negative, are just reverses of each other. I’m excited about the prospect of learning more about how to help myself and my clients move past chronic pain, as those who have it are such an underserved population unless you have access to insurance, which many often don’t because they can’t hold down jobs because of the debilitating pain.
How does this concept of pain and pleasure being the reverse of each other feel to you? What about the idea that you would be unconsciously be holding on to the pain? Please don’t hear that these are “shame and blame” admonitions. but rather hidden aspects tucked away in your unconscious minds that you don’t even know that you’re holding on to.
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You can find out more about my healing work in the other information on this site, about my artwork on my web site at www.fiberfantasies.com (be patient as it loads; it’s worth it), and can find me on Google + , Facebook (for Transition Portals), Facebook (for Fiber Fantasies), and Twitter.