Recently, I’ve written quite a bit about all of the physical ailments that I’ve had the last year, and the resulting discoveries that I’ve made for my research. (Why waste all of that pain if I can’t put it to good use?) However, much of the time I spent hiding under the covers because I couldn’t do for myself what is so easy for me to do for others; I can give help easily, but asking for it is another story. I’m really, really good at figuring out what someone else needs intuitively, sometimes to the point of overgiving and wearing myself out. (Which I’m working on!) However, when it comes to asking for something from most people, that’s very hard for me to do.
I suppose some of that comes from my Southern upbringing, where I was actually taught it was selfish to think of yourself first, or ask for more than your share. As I got older, I was surprised at how much other people seemed to “get away with” when it came to asking for things, but somehow, it just didn’t seem right. Then, I would get angry at myself at the “unfairness” of it all.
I know for myself, I’ve been rather proud of the fact that for the last 15 years since my husband left, I’ve been rather able to take care of myself. I would ask for help for things that it was obvious that I couldn’t do, like lift something really heavy. However, there was a part of me that felt that I’m supposed to be this big intuitive healer, what I was trying for myself wasn’t working, and asking for help was a sign of weakness. However, the Universe is insisting that I work on some of my own issues, that I thought I was finished with, even if it has to knock me to my knees to get my attention.
So, when I began to do research on the Net as to why I have such a hard time asking for help, it turns out I’m not the only one. On Google images, there were inspirational illustrations saying asking for help is really a sign of strength, which intellectually I can buy. However, my reptilian brain wasn’t buying it. “Wimp!” I thought. I think another reason why it’s hard for me to ask for help is that it reminds me that I’m getting older, and the day is coming when I really won’t be ab;e to take care of myself.
Here’s a great list of info on asking for help. I think that some of my own problem stems from having asked for things in the past, and being told no. What I’ve realized is that I was putting my trust in those who didn’t deserve it. Another healer friend of mine said to keep asking others until someone says yes. Just because one person said no doesn’t mean that the whole world will.
As a result of all of this physical chaos, I have found out a LOT about where we get set up for these repeating patterns of behavior. It turns out that I’m my own best test animal! If you’d like to work on your own issues, without having to go through all of the trauma that I have, I can make your life a lot easier. Why not contact me at ….. firstname.lastname@example.org – 410-730-7413 and let’s get you started on your own spiritual path.
What suggestions do you have for others who have trouble asking for help? What have been some of your experiences when you did ask others?
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You can find out more about my healing work in the other information on this site, about my artwork on my web site at www.fiberfantasies.com (be patient as it loads; it’s worth it), and can find me on Google + , Facebook (for Transition Portals), Facebook (for Fiber Fantasies), and Twitter.