Why is Asking For Help so Hard?

Asking for Help

A hand reaching out, asking for help

Nancy Smeltzer, MFA

Recently, I’ve written quite a bit about all of the physical ailments that I’ve had the last year, and the resulting discoveries that I’ve made for my research. (Why waste all of that pain if I can’t put it to good use?) However, much of the time I spent hiding under the covers because I couldn’t do for myself what is so easy for me to do for others; I can give help easily, but asking for it is another story. I’m really, really good at figuring out what someone else needs intuitively, sometimes to the point of overgiving and wearing myself out. (Which I’m working on!) However, when it comes to asking for something from most people, that’s very hard for me to do.

I suppose some of that comes from my Southern upbringing, where I was actually taught it was selfish to think of yourself first, or ask for more than your share. As I got older, I was surprised at how much other people seemed to “get away with” when it came to asking for things, but somehow, it just didn’t seem right. Then, I would get angry at myself at the “unfairness” of it all.

I know for myself, I’ve been rather proud of the fact that for the last 15 years since my husband left, I’ve been rather able to take care of myself. I would ask for help for things that it was obvious that I couldn’t do, like lift something really heavy. However, there was a part of me that felt that I’m supposed to be this big intuitive healer, what I was trying for myself wasn’t working, and asking for help was a sign of weakness. However, the Universe is insisting that I work on some of my own issues, that I thought I was finished with, even if it has to knock me to my knees to get my attention.

So, when I began to do research on the Net as to why I have such a hard time asking for help, it turns out I’m not the only one. On Google images, there were inspirational illustrations saying asking for help is really a sign of strength, which intellectually I can buy. However, my reptilian brain wasn’t buying it. “Wimp!” I thought. I think another reason why it’s hard for me to ask for help is that it reminds me that I’m getting older, and the day is coming when I really won’t be ab;e to take care of myself.

Here’s a great list of info on asking for help. I think that some of my own problem stems from having asked for things in the past, and being told no. What I’ve realized is that I was putting my trust in those who didn’t deserve it. Another healer friend of mine said to keep asking others until someone says yes. Just because one person said no doesn’t mean that the whole world will.

As a result of all of this physical chaos, I have found out a LOT about where we get set up for these repeating patterns of behavior. It turns out that I’m my own best test animal! If you’d like to work on your own issues, without having to go through all of the trauma that I have, I can make your life a lot easier. Why not contact me at ….. nsmeltzer@transitionportals.com – 410-730-7413 and let’s get you started on your own spiritual path.

What suggestions do you have for others who have trouble asking for help? What have been some of your experiences when you did ask others?

Why not leave a comment as to your thoughts on this posting. Please take a minute and fill out the form and share your ideas with the rest of us. We all grow when we share our thoughts and impressions of how you perceive life. Why not join our growing community of those who appreciate learning about our inner selves and the intricacies of healing work. We’d love to hear from you! Also PLEASE tell like-minded souls about this blog. We’d love to have them join us, too.

You can find out more about my healing work in the other information on this site, about my artwork on my web site at www.fiberfantasies.com (be patient as it loads; it’s worth it), and can find me on Google + , Facebook (for Transition Portals), Facebook (for Fiber Fantasies),  and Twitter.

About Nancy Smeltzer

I'm passionate about long distance spiritual and alternative healing, having had a successful practice now for over ten years. My clients work with me over the phone and on Skype from all over the USA and Canada, as well as Switzerland, Russia, and Australia. I specialize in helping people heal their negative repeating patterns of behavior and remove the stuck energy in their unconscious minds. By doing that, they can quit going round and round in circles,. repeating the same mistakes, and move forward to having the life of their dreams. Besides my holistic healing practice, I've also been professionally creating art quilts and other fiber arts for over 30 years. My specialty is contemporary beaded art quilts. On my web site, I bill myself as the "Self Proclaimed Button and Bead Queen of Maryland (USA)." My recent works have images that are based on what I see when I tap into a person's energy field and are called Meditation Gardens. These visionary art pieces are the perfect place for that person to play and meditate. In my spare time, I'm a rabid, avid "dirty nails" gardener, composing scenes with plants. Sometimes, I come inside so dirty that my clothes have to go straight into the washing machine; they're too dirty for the dirty clothes hamper! -The Official Google + site for Nancy Smeltzer
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2 Responses to Why is Asking For Help so Hard?

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